- Whiteboard / Butchers Paper
- Marker
- Worksheet The consent continuum

1. LINK from previous F.R.I.E.S activity.

🗣️ SAY:
”What if saying “YES” to something is not always freely chosen, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, or specific? Is consent always black and white? Sometimes, even if we agree, or even want to do something, it may still feel strange or difficult for us, and we may feel ‘stretched’ or a little uncomfortable. We may want to just give things a go, to ‘test the waters’, so how do we know when something has crossed the line?”

2. DRAW the “GREEN, YELLOW, and RED zone” diagram onto whiteboard / butchers pag

3. Ask participants to think of one important relationship in their lives.

Ask them to consider:

• How do you feel in this relationship?
• What zones does this relationship take you to? GREEN, YELLOW, or RED?
• Does which zone you are in vary depending on what you are doing? (e.g. watching TV with your partner/friend might be in your GREEN comfort zone, but arguing may put you in the YELLOW risk/stretch zone)
• How has this changed over time? (e.g. when you first met your partner, you were always in the YELLOW risk zone, but now you are mainly in the GREEN comfort zone)

3. Discuss:

• What helps us feel comfortable in a relationship?
• What does it mean to take ‘risks' (in the YELLOW zone) in a relationship? Is this good or bad?
• In positive or healthy relationships, we usually switch between YELLOW/‘risk’ and GREEN/'comfort' zones.

🤲 NOTE
YELLOW Zone —> 'Risk' moments can be important for bringing out changes in our relationships. For example, picking up the courage to talk to someone to address issues that are worrying you, and providing moments of bonding, such as when you share something about yourself or get through a disagreement together.

However, regular moments of panic when you are with someone is not okay. This may be because you are someone who finds relationships and communication with others difficult, and these may make you feel panicky. Or it could be because you are in a relationship that is abusive, coercive, forceful or exploitative.

4. BRAINSTORM: How can we look after ourselves and support one another?

🗣️ ASK:
"How can we support a friend, if they are feeling panicky in their relationships with others?"

Scribe participants' responses onto a separate sheet of butchers paper.

Responses may include:

• Give them space
• Go somewhere quiet with them
• Talk to them about how they feel when they feel less panicky
• Ask them if they have had enough to eat, drink, or if they have had enough sleep or rest
• Challenge the idea that it is 'normal' to feel panicky about a relationship
• Encourage them to consider who they feel comfortable with, and seek support with this person

⚠️ NOTE about Exploitation / Abusive relationships
This discussion may lead to disclosures of exploitative or abusive relationships. Follow up with the young person after the session has finished, rather than during the group setting. If this happens, close down conversation sensitively, or until you can talk to the young person on their own. It may be useful to ask this person's consent to refer their disclosure to the relevant school person (e.g. school nurse / classroom teacher etc.)

This activity was adapted from the activity ‘Comfort, Stretch and Panic zones’, from:
Hoyle, A. & McGeeney, E. (2020). Great Relationships and Sex Education: 200+ Activities for Educators Working with Young People. Routledge. p51 - 52