Communication: What you want and what you don’t
Consent can be verbal or non-verbal, direct or indirect.
Consent and Communication: Go to Phrases
What is communication?
While this may be basic, learning to communicate better is a lifelong process. Overall, communication can come in a number of different ways.
Verbal and non-verbal
- Verbal communication refers to using words to communicate, like writing and speaking.
- Non-verbal communication refers to using other ways to communicate, like body language, giving gifts, washing the dishes, and other behaviours.
Direct and indirect
- Direct communication happens when the speaker is fully responsible for clearly (directly) stating what is wanted or needed.
- Indirect communication happens when the context is just as important as what is being said. This can mean that we even need to learn how to ‘read between the lines’, in order to understand what someone is trying to say.
There can be many good reasons for indirect communication. Some examples include if you don’t know someone well, you may not want to offend them, if they may not speak the same language as you fluently, or if there are other power differences between you.
In mainstream culture, we are often taught that the ‘best’ form of communication is always verbal and direct. However, in practice, we tend to encounter a much broader range of communication styles. We need to learn how to communicate differently with people from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and experiences from our own.
❓ What influences the communication styles that you tend to use with different people in your life?
Negotiating consent
Tips for communicating what you want, and don’t want.
In terms of communicating what you want and what you don’t want in the area of sex and relationships, it can be helpful to learn how to communicate in a number of different ways. It is also useful to learn how to understand both direct and indirect forms of communication from others.
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Consent and the law