How porn is different from sex in real life

Most mainstream porn is made for cisgender and heterosexual men. Mainstream porn tends to focus on men’s pleasure, where a man is receiving pleasure or getting his own orgasm. This doesn’t mean women’s pleasure isn’t seen in porn, but it’s less common and isn’t given the same priority.

🧐 Did you know?

In mainstream porn, most cis women orgasm loudly and multiple times. One large study has shown that in the real world however, about 4 in 5 cis women don't orgasm through penis-in-vagina sex alone.

Source: 'Women's Experiences With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm' (Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 2017).

🧐 Did you know?

In porn, cis men can go for hours. In the real world, 3 in 4 cis men ejaculate within the first 2 mins of penetrative sex.

Source: 'Sexual Behavior in the Human Male' (Alfred Kinsey, 1948).

Everybody is different. Most orgasms in real life won’t involve screaming and grunting — but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel good.

If you’ve seen porn before, do you remember whether the people involved asked for consent ?

In porn, showing partners asking for consent is pretty rare. On the flip side, porn that shows imbalanced power dynamics or forced sex is much more common.

In real life, it’s important to set boundaries , share your needs, and understand what you’re agreeing to. It’s also okay to slow down, change your mind, or stop completely if you’re not feeling it.

It’s unusual for porn to show people using contraception . Even when condoms are seen on screen, the conversation about when or how they’ll be used isn’t shown.

In real life, many porn actors who have a uterus will use some kind of contraception. There are also many different kinds of contraception to choose from - condoms aren’t your only option !

Using contraception can prevent unplanned pregnancy and condoms can prevent both pregnancy and STIs. You won’t hear about these topics in porn, but they’re important to consider in your own relationships.

In mainstream porn, it’s rare to see different ethnicities, genders, sexualities, types of sex, and body types. When diversity is shown, it can be done so in a way that is stereotypical. This means you don’t get the chance to fully understand each person’s experience or preferences.

Stereotyping and fetishisation can also happen in both mainstream porn and other types of porn. For example, gay porn can still play into stereotypes by portraying sex as taking place between a masculine top and feminine bottom.

The way everyone experiences and enjoys sex is unique, so it’s important to remember that porn may not always reflect the way you experience pleasure , safety, love, and relationships.