• Confidentiality
  (what’s said here stays here)
• Non-judgemental / Withholding judgement
• Mobile phones on silent please
• Respect one another's names and pronouns
• Respect diversity of ideas, identities & experiences
  This can include: Diversity of experiences with, or interest in, sex and the subject matter
• “Don’t yuck my yum”
  (don’t make others feel bad for liking different things than you)
• Respect one another's boundaries
• One person speaks at a time
• Step Up / Step back (if you tend to speak more, challenge yourself to ‘step back’ to let others speak. If you tend to be more quiet, challenge yourself to ‘step up’ to speak)
• No pressure to Disclose / Permission to pass
• Permission to pause
• There is no such thing as a stupid question (all questions are welcome)

Consent is more than just a black or white, ‘yes or no’ thing. Touch only briefly consent and the law, and the age of consent.

🤲 ACTIVITIES TO USE:
- May I have your pencil? (5 - 10 mins)

📗 Consent is an agreement between you and and anyone else involved to engage in an activity together.

• Consent is something that happens in every part of our lives, not just relating to sex.
• Consent is something that is generally not shown in TV, movies and other media ( including porn ), but it’s important.

Consent and the law

💡 The law is different from state to state, but generally speaking, defines consent asan individual's free agreement to participate in any sexual activity. Consent can only be given if it is free and voluntary, without fear, coercion, intimidation or anything else that inhibits free agreement. Not getting consent for a sexual act is considered a criminal sexual offence.

In Australia, a person needs to have reached a certain age before the law believes they are mature enough to legally consent to any kind of sexual activity (vaginal, oral, anal) with another person. This is called the age of consent.

Complexity in age of consent laws

💡 The “Two Year Rule”
In the ACT & VIC, young people under the age of consent may be protected if they engage in sexual experimentation with one another, as long as the age difference between them is less than two years. This is also known as the “Two Year Rule. (Eg: if you are 13, your partner can be no older than 15)

• The age of consent differs from state to state.
• Age of consent laws exist in order to ensure someone doesn’t exploit an unequal power difference over a younger person for their own benefit. Engaging with someone who is under the age of consent is a crime.
• In some states and territories, there are special laws that make it an offence for anyone in a supervisory position to you (like an employer to teacher) to have sex with you, as this is considered an abuse of power
• Age of consent laws aren’t uniform and can be complex to navigate. Checking the laws for your state or territory is a good idea.
• However, it is recognised within the legal system that sexual experimentation is common between consenting young people and this is reflected in some laws or their application to individual cases. Tasmania, Western Australia and Victoria all have laws that address this.
• Age of consent laws also apply to share nude images. Commonwealth law states that you need to be over 18 to send nude images, or else they may be considered child pornographic material, but again, there may be exceptions to the law so long as it’s consensual.

❓ If there is time, ASK:

How have you typically seen consent represented on screen? What did you like, or not like? (Unpack why.)

What are some ways you can check in on your partner’s consent without killing the mood, before and during sex?

Remember the acronym “F.R.I.ES.” that we watched in the videos at the start? Let’s discuss this together.

🤲 ACTIVITIES TO USE:
(choose one):

- F.R.I.E.S. (10 mins)

F is for Freely given
This means that consent is a choice that you can make only when there is no pressure or manipulation, and no threat or fear of negative consequences for saying no.

R is for Reversible
This means that anyone involved is allowed to change their mind about what they feel like doing at any point, whether or not you are clothed or naked, and even if you have done the same activity before!

I is for Informed
This means that consent can only occur when all information is available to each person. For example you might agree to have sex, but not to unprotected sex; if someone were to take a condom off half-way through they would be breaking consent.

E is for Enthusiastic
This is about only doing the stuff you actually want to do, not something that you think you ‘have to do’. This isn't about the way you say yes, or being introverted or extroverted. It’s about actually being in to it.

S is for Specific
This means just because you have said yes to one thing (for example, kissing or touching), doesn’t mean that you are saying yes to anything else (such as having sex).

🤲 ACTIVITIES TO USE:
- Power Conversation (30 mins)

💡 Power is about having choice and control.
Power is a person’s ability to influence or effect change in themselves, others, or their environment.

• Power can be earned — for example through purchasing a car, having a good income, or developing strong social credit — or unearned. Unearned power can also be referred to as privilege.
• Everyone has different degrees of power. The level of power a person has can also change, as their circumstances change, which can change their relationships or the way they’re treated.
• When two people have different levels of power, this is known as an ‘unequal power dynamic’. Often, the person who has more power sets the tone for any interactions or relationship.

Power dynamics in intimate relationships

• In relationships, people don’t always have the same level of power. But unequal or unacknowledged differences in power can make enthusiastic consent-giving complex.
• It can be hard to say no to a partner who has more power than you — for example, it may be hard to say no to a partner who can drive you around or who owns the place you stay in.

Power and pleasure

• Some people may find playing with power dynamics in the bedroom to be a turn on, and may engage in role play, BDSM or other forms of power play.
• While deliberately playing with different forms of power is valid and can be pleasurable, it’s important to remember that both partners need to consent to it. It’s important to respect another person’s decision to change their mind in these scenarios.

🤲 ACTIVITIES TO USE:
(choose one):

- GREEN, YELLOW, and RED zones (15 mins)

🟢 Consent
True consent needs to be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific (F.R.I.E.S). Consent means that you have both freely given permission to the other person to engage in this specific activity together, you are free to change your mind if you wish, you have full awareness of the risks, benefits and potential consequences, and you feel good about doing this specific activity.

🟡 Compliance
Compliance means that you are only doing something because you feel like you ‘should’, in order not to disappoint them, or in order for someone else to like you.

🟠 Pressure
Pressure means that you are reluctantly only doing something out of a sense of duty, or because someone keeps asking you, bribing you, or making you feel guilty or ashamed if you don’t do it.

🔴 Coercion
Coercion means doing something because someone is threatening you with physical harm, or even blackmailing you.

🔴 Force
Force means that someone is using violence, or physically overpowering you, in order to get you to do something.